A Marriage Metaphor that will help you
It’s been a pretty difficult past few weeks for my extended family. My younger sister and her husband are calling it quits after two long years of hurt and hardship in their marriage. My sister wanted to work it out, but her husband didn’t have the will and now they must find a way to work as co-parents.
Driving to the grocery store the other day, I thought about marriage, and how it’s supposed to connect two unconnected people in a permanent way. An image came to my mind of two separate sheets of paper and a big tube of Elmer’s glue. One of the pieces of paper was smothered in glue and the second sheet was meticulously placed on it so that each of the sides lined up to perfection.
Then I thought about those two pieces of paper glued together and being two sides now of the same piece, like they were always together from the beginning. Over the years each side had its own drawings and small tears, but when lifted to the light the other side shown through. And each tare also tore a bit of the other side.
This is what marriage is. Each side of the paper directly affects the other side. You feel each other’s pains and each others triumphs like they are your own. Each experience one person has will always shine through to the other partner. Every time a storm comes down on one, the other will also get wet.
Divorce is like those two pieces of paper being pulled apart, but since they were glued together a little of each page is still stuck to the other and both pages are deformed and cannot fit on another piece of paper as perfectly as before.
If you want to keep your marriage together there are some basic steps you can take today to help you have a lasting and strong marriage
1. Don’t keep secrets, or do things you think you must keep secret.
If everything you do shines through to your partner, then there aren’t really any secrets. He will instinctively know that there is something your hiding and he will be hurt. Even if it’s not that big of a deal, it is always better to say something then keep it to yourself.
2. Keep your mind free from wondering.
If you let your mind become attracted, even in a small way, to another man, then you will bring on distrust and hardship. Make the effort to always control your thoughts and attractions. Make your man the center of your attraction. He needs to be the one you hold up as most handsome.
3. Make an effort to spend time together.
If you are busy and have small kids try to go on micro dates. Make an effort to talk. Most men are open to talking especially about emotional things after sex, so use that time wisely. Also if you aren’t intentional about spending time together it is easy to grow separately and that always caused issues and bent edges.
4. Don’t air your dirty laundry on social media.
Being passive aggressive and speaking negatively about your husband will put your mind in a negative place about your marriage and encourage your friends to see the defects in your relationship. Keep things positive and any time you talk about your man bring up the positive. We all have negative things about us and you wouldn’t want your husband complaining about you to his work buddies.
Remember that two pieces of paper together are stronger than one pulled apart. Happy marriages everybody!